Half Life
by pinkpower
Summary: Now there wasn’t much to do, except live. C/A oneshot.


**Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me.**

Cloud had no idea where he was supposed to be now that he had decided to get away from his home with Tifa, Denzel, and Marlene. He didn't want to be happy with them anymore—he was scared to death of it, especially since it could be stolen right before his eyes all over again. Again, Cloud could lose his reason to wake up in the blinding mornings to face the day with easy breathing and a healing heart. On the one hand, he very much doubted that he deserved a family, even a dysfunctional one that he could discover peace with after the never-ending, lifetime of mistake he committed time and time again.

He needed time on the road to think away from the rest of the beckoning human race that refused to leave him alone. Most of all, Cloud wanted to escape from himself and overflowing thoughts of all the stupid things he had done—and maybe even the stupid things he had never taken a chance on. His biggest regret was granting Aerith her request of meeting him—the real him—when all he wanted to do was make believe he was something better than what he had become. However, the only reason Cloud had done such a compromising thing for Aerith was because there something in her that he wanted to get to know better as well. From that point on, Cloud helplessly fell in love with the Flower Girl.

But somehow—somehow Sephiroth knew that Cloud had finally discovered it was like to be happy—or rather—Cloud had finally that missing part to his very spirit that he really hadn't been searching for to begin with. Like most maniacal villains wreaking havoc on all humankind, Sephirioth took Aerith away just as Cloud had found her. Cloud could have given up; he could have let Gaia be vanquished by its own flaws, but then Aerith would have died for nothing. After all, she had shown the mixed-up ex-SOLDIER if _he_ could be good, maybe there was still hope for the world as well. Aerith had shown him hope and faith. How could he possibly let her die in vain?

Now there wasn't much to do, except live. Even then, Cloud wouldn't be doing very much of that since had contracted the Geostigma. Soon he would be in the warmth of the Promise Land with his Aerith. He could at last be with her and no one would be around to spoil it all.

As of the current moment, Cloud could have cared less about where he ended up just as long as he was safe from feeling happy when he, truthfully, didn't deserve it. He didn't want to be happy—not without her. Cloud traveled in the darkness of the night with no stars and no moon to guide the way. He was simply letting the wink at his back lead the way for him. It was almost as if Cloud were a blind man allowing the unknown to be the next path he would go down.

The only question in Cloud's head now was: _What do I do now?_

At long last, Cloud soon found himself standing before a patch of flowers in a church—the very same church he had his second encounter with the beautiful Cetra. For a moment, the blond considered that it was bitter irony that led him here; trying to forget Aerith was easier said than done. He couldn't deny that he missed her. Cloud felt like a fish deprived of water, only he wasn't so sure that living was what he wanted to anymore.

All the same, Cloud couldn't help but smile at the memory of what it had been like waking up too see Aerith—obviously, a person of outer and inner beauty that didn't belong to normalcy and plainness of the universe. Yet, there she was, almost like something out of a wonderful dream, smiling down at him.

Perhaps it was Aerith's glowing light of a personality that seemed so mystery—so foreign—to Cloud is what led him to determine that he needed _exactly_ Aerith; she was the sweet oxygen he necessitated into his greedy lungs. She was the sun to his entire would. Cloud stared at her for so long then after she was gone, all he could see were black spots. He grew desperately attached to her sense of eternal optimism and that bright, warm smile.

Maybe at first Cloud that Aerith's cheery disposition was nothing but a façade, but he slowing began to realize that it all that time, it was Aerith just being Aerith. She didn't try to be graceful, wise, beautiful, funny, or even angelic; it was just who she was. Overall, Aerith was wonderful. Cloud would admire her for that, and always would.

Aerith had reached her hands into Cloud's soul, showing him that he was capable of feeling something other than anger and resentment all the time. With her, it was simple to be happy, whether or not he would actually show it. She gave him more than something—somebody—that was worth dying for. No. She was worth living for. That's why Cloud would go on for however long he had left.

Cloud sat down in one of the pews, sighing in forbidden contentment. He decided that Aerith's church would now become his own sanctuary; he would live here.

"You know, Cloud, there's much more to living than breathing air."

Clear as the day, Cloud know that rainfall-after-a-storm voice belonged his sweet angel.

"I don't know if I can live without you," he answered back gently. "You trusted me to be your bodyguard, and I was supposed to protect you. I failed you, Aerith."

He could hear her sigh of exasperation, knowing that searching for the right words to say would be even more of a challenge. Aerith was dead, and it was his fault. What could she say to him?

"Oh, Cloud. If only there was a way to make you truly understand," she said.

"No, Aerith, there is something you need to understand. Everyone I've e ever gotten close to has died because of me." Cloud thought he really should have known better after losing his mother and Zack than to allow Aerith to come along on such a dangerous journey. In all fairness, though, she ended up doing the most of the handiwork of saving the world. "You didn't deserve to die."

"You should probably get some rest, Cloud. I'll be there in your dreams," Aerith promised. "Sleep on the flowerbed."

Cloud nodded, being made aware of the heaviness in his eyelids. He got up from the pew and went to lie down on the flowers.

"Goodnight, Cloud." Aerith murmured.

Before he closed his eyes and drifted into sea of sleep, Cloud replied, "Goodnight, Aerith. I'm so sorry."

"Shhh," she whispered, her voice slowly fading. "I promised that I would be back when it's all over. It's not over yet, Cloud. It's time that you find out what living is all about. For now, I need you to dream."

Cloud supposed she already knew of his many dreams of meeting her in the Promise Land, but he wouldn't continue with the conversation since Aerith wanted him to sleep. He would just have to meet her in his dreams.

He then fell asleep in his new sanctuary and dreamt only of the Flower Girl. Little did Cloud know, she had every intention of setting him on the road to salvation and redemption. Little did Aerith know, she was his salvation and redemption.


End file.
